Prostitutes and Wives

Prostitution is the one profession that has been painted in a bad light for so long by people who have gained most from it. These are none other than the women whose men indulge in the business. Am serious! For reasons that am about to highlight, women will be happier if they imagined their husbands with prostitutes than with anyone else because there has to be someone all the same.
Though I will refer to the profession as ‘prostitution’ and the professionals as ‘prostitutes’ herein, it’s for convenience purposes only. I personally don’t like these references, they sound demeaning to say the least.
Nowadays, secretaries are referred to as administrative assistants, watchmen as security personnel and toilet cleaners as sanitary officers. Why then do we insist on calling our prostitutes prostitutes (no pun intended).We have an array of euphemisms to choose from, ranging from commercial companions to Plan Bs.
Anyway, to tell the truth and shame the devil, all men are cheats. Whether they swear by the breasts of their dead grandmothers, they will always have extracurricular sex, period. However convincingly they deny it, they will always have that extra share of the cake. It is only natural, just like women like soaps so do men love football. In the same vein, just like women love gifts and expensive dinners so do men love sex.
This does not mean that men don’t fall in love. They do. To men, love does not equate to sex, they can love one woman but have sex with any number. Women on the other hand consider sex and love as synonymous, unless they are Plan Bs. A man can therefore have sex with numerous women but only make love to one. It’s only natural. It’s no wonder that our universities have awarded all of them MBAs, Married But Available.
(N.B: Don’t expect your man to accept these allegations. This is the one and only area where men say no when they actually mean yes.)
Since it is given that men will always play these ‘away matches’, let’s examine the options they have. The first is running after young school girls and college students or worse still, the maids in their backyards.
I know wives will not want this. The school and college girls may be younger and probably prettier than the wives and the men may get obsessed with them. Maids on the other hand are out of question, which self respecting woman can stand the fact that her husband is fooling around with a maid, and worse still, in their backyard?
The second option is to have an affair with other viable women. This is more challenging to the wives because such a setup will demand that the man diverts attention and resources to the other woman. This sounds like a direct threat to the wife’s capacity as the incumbent. Women don’t take lightly to competition and that is what an affair such as this presents them with. Second wives are normally end results of such affairs. An affair also creates a window for the man to possibly fall in love with the other woman since they spend some reasonable time together. Consequently, he might fall out of love with the First Lady. Now, we don’t want that ladies, do we?
The other option is masturbation but please, let’s not even go there.
Enter prostitution, the oldest profession in the world. This is the best kind of infidelity a woman can ever wish for her partner. This is because it serves its purpose with fine precision. Men do have sex plurally, we are already agreed on that. This method therefore allows them to do so without raising any questions since nobody who matters ever finds out. It also transpires without creating a conflict of interest between the wife and the service provider. It is cash on delivery business, nothing more. You pay, get the services and go to hell (or wherever it is you came from).
When a man goes for a school girl, he might be tempted to skin-dive by assuming the young girl is innocent. When he has an affair, he will eventually develop trust for the other woman and they might start having unprotected sex. Not so with the prostitute. Since he knows only too well the nature of her occupation, he will always use condoms. This therefore serves as the safest type of stolen sex.
A prostitute’s contract ends once a man puts his pair of trousers back on. The transaction is always so professional that a man can bump into the prostitute in the company of his wife and have a chat with her (the prostitute) without arousing any jealousy from either woman. A fling with a prostitute is therefore by no means a threat to the relationship between a man and his woman.
A man may repeatedly visit the same prostitute due to services well rendered but that will be about all there is to it. Show me a man who falls in love with a prostitute and I will show you a confused man.
Prostitutes do not therefore pose any threat to the incumbent’s territory. They just help the men do what they have to do. Men will rarely go for a lasting relationship with a prostitute.
Am therefore not asking women to allow or encourage their men to chase prostitutes around, all am asking them to do is not to despise these noble women or sneer at them whenever they talk about them or happen to meet them. Women are right in thinking that once a man loves them, he never desires any other but deep down their hearts they should harbour one prayer and that is; if my husband decides to cheat, let it be with a prostitute.